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my one year yoga-versary // things I’ve learned as a yoga teacher and a human

  • Writer: Emilia
    Emilia
  • May 28, 2019
  • 8 min read

Updated: Dec 5, 2019

One year ago today, I graduated from my yoga teacher training program in Rishikesh, India. In honour of this anniversary, I want to share some of the things that I’ve learned as a yoga teacher and a human. Some of these things are ones I’ve already written about, and some will be new to you. In all honesty, I've written this post several times over - it's really hard to distill a year down into a blog post, and this year has been one of the most influential of my life. So I want to say right now that these ideas are a bit scattered. I want to present them honestly, in all their chaos and disorganization, because that’s how they live in my head. I hope that eventually, they will make their way into full blog posts, when they've become coherent and meaningful rather than thought fragments. But in the spirit of sharing my year, I want to include these stories anyway, even if they aren't all finished. After all, life is always going to be a work in progress.


the practical


First of all: I wasn’t sure I was going to like being a yoga teacher; I always hated public speaking and I wasn’t sure I was ‘good enough’ at yoga to be able to lead a class. But good news: I love it. It’s the only job I’ve ever had that doesn’t feel like work. (And teaching yoga has single-handedly gotten me over a pretty substantial fear of public speaking, which is a sweet added bonus).


As a teacher, I’ve found that there are pieces that come easily and pieces that are more challenging. It’s so natural to me to lead people through the movement part of a yoga class; even if I mess up my cueing or mirroring, I feel confident in my ability to teach. The first minute of class, though, where I introduce myself and attempt to distill years of my practice and 200 hours of training into a 30-second introduction of the essence of yoga as well as practical instructions, is something that I struggle with. It’s coming along.


balance


Finding the balance between creativity and routine has also been challenging. How often can I repeat poses? Can I reuse whole classes? Should I play different music for each class? Different people – teachers and students – give me different answers, so it’s something I’ve been figuring out on my own. I know that some people get bored with a teacher whose classes and playlists are repetitive, but I think that repetition has value.


I use the same playlist (which I worked very hard on, and occasionally update) most every class, because it keeps me on schedule. I know the order of the songs, and I know if I need to adapt my plan to fit the time frame we have, and I wind down the class as the music winds down, so we don’t cut savasana short #priorities. As a student, I always liked when a teacher had their standard playlist, because it became background music. After attending that class enough, the music wasn’t surprising or distracting me from my practice. Plus, some songs are classics. I seriously think that my first savasana song will remain the same forever, because it’s the absolute perfect way to start an hour of practice. I know that using the same playlist every week probably bothers some of my students, and perhaps has even pushed some of them into not coming back. But I can’t please everybody, and this is a decision that I’ve made about the kind of teacher I am, at least for now.


The same goes for reusing poses vs introducing newer, weirder ones. I’ve known teachers who have the exact same cool-down routine every single class, and I do think it gets tired. I’ve also been to classes comprised of almost entirely made-up poses, and even though the teacher gave good cues, it was distracting. As an experienced yogi, I expect largely to only need to pay attention to the name of the pose rather than the instructor's cues. Then I can check out mentally, and I think that's where the magic is. A few weird or made-up poses per class? Of course! But I do think there needs to be a balance here as well. It’s trial and error, and no teacher’s style will fit what every student wants. But in my experience, these are very deliberate decisions on the teacher’s part, and they should be met not with judgment. If you're not vibing, you're not vibing, and that's okay.


i’m not a professional people pleaser


On that note, I need to frequently remind myself of this when I plan classes and evaluate them afterwards: I cannot please everybody, and it is not my job to please everybody. It is my job to do what I think will give people the best experience. I never know exactly what the demographic will be for any given class. I do my best to cater to all levels, and I know that some days I'm more successful in that than others. I ask for feedback, comments, and questions after every single class, and I really do want my students to let me know if they’d rather me do something else. It doesn’t mean I will necessarily put their feedback into practice, but if I hear the same thing enough (90% of the time, it’s that I need to speak louder), I do my best to incorporate my students’ wishes.


being a teacher is not enough


Teaching yoga and practicing yoga are completely different activities, and I think it would be inauthentic to present myself as a yoga teacher – that is, somebody qualified to lead you through your practice – if the only yoga I did was class planning. My solo practice is not perfect. I have always struggled with motivating myself to practice at home, and I prefer attending classes. I try to maintain a balance with this, and sometimes I fail. But I know that I need to be living out my practice in a way that would inspire; I need to have my own real-world experience - not just some credentials - to be a truly qualified instructor.


And on the same note, I think that expecting myself to have done a 200-hour intensive teaching program and therefore know everything there is to know about teaching yoga is ridiculous. I hope to do a specialization program in the next few years, but there are lots of less official ways to continue learning. Attending classes with teachers I admire and taking notes from them is endlessly valuable. The Internet, and Instagram in particular, is also a great source from which to draw inspiration. I can’t do this by myself. Some days my resources are low. Sometimes I’m not feeling creative at all. Planning and teaching classes to the best of my ability is very much a team effort.


taking my practice off the mat


Coming home from India was completely overwhelming. I wasn’t ready to leave at all. It all felt unfinished, like I wasn’t ready to be thrown into the world to find a teaching job, and I wasn’t finished with my little life in India. I had so much more room to grow, and I didn’t like the idea of having to do it back home - but I had no choice but to do it here.


So it’s been a year of introspecting, and one of the big focuses of this past year has been taking my practice off the mat. I’ve been doing a lot of reading, a lot of listening, a lot of asking questions. Journeying into myself has become something of a spiritual practice for me. And just like figuring out how to best incorporate elements of Indian yogic teachings into a western-style yoga class, I’ve spent much time trying to figure out how to integrate some of the beautiful things that I learned in India into my western lifestyle. In no particular order, these are some books that I’ve read over the past year and would recommend (and everybody should go sign up for Audible, even if it’s just the free trial. It's been life-changing for me as a student who has little desire to read for fun).

My practice, on and off the mat, has taught me first and foremost over the past year that we're never done searching. There's just always more to learn, and one of the most authentic and loving ways that you can live is with humility, expecting that you don't know everything there is to know.


with great power comes great responsibility


It’s an honour to be able to guide people in their yoga practice. I was talking to a friend the other week about this – she’s newly a yoga teacher, and she was saying that after she finishes teaching a class, she starts second-guessing everything. Did I teach from my mat too much? Was my cueing alright? Did I give enough modifications? The thing about teaching yoga is that if you’re taking it seriously, it feels heavy. It’s a good weight, but it’s still weight. It feels like a big responsibility, and that's because it is. People are entrusting you with their yoga practice, and that is nothing short of sacred.


I’ve been able to connect with so many wonderful people through this role. I’ve had the most interesting conversations and gotten to know so many amazing humans. They are ultimately why I do what I do, and it’s just so special. To any of my students who might be reading this, I want you to know that I'm so humbled and beyond grateful that you've chosen to share your practice with me, and I don't take that lightly. One year in, I love being a teacher, and I love being a student just as much as I always did. And now I have a whole new group of people to love, because I have students of my own. Just overwhelmed with gratitude.


Namaste

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